Comparative Counseling

Wats goodie blog world? Following writing my last blog, I had a discussion with a friend about life in general, focusing on our last relationships and my previous blog and the connection to all of it. She made an interesting statement that sparked this entry: "I have the hardest time understanding men, so I'm just going to give up for a while." My response was that she doesn't need to understand men, but just find a MAN to understand and I think that can be our best bet for being successful not only in our relationships but our general life interactions...

Too often we get caught up in wanting to obtain the prize spouse that many have sought after that we create a hostile environment for love to progress. Surrendering yourself early for someone creates a balance of power that may never be equated in a relationship...though receiving their attention instantly gratifies us and them as well, there will always be a discrepancy between what you give to the relationship and what they take from it. Though relationships do need one person to make that initial move to spark it, sacrificing personal identity should never occur...You are attempting to enter into a union, not a sponsorship...

Where one can make sure that they are not surrendering their identity in a relationship comes with having a sense of personal respect and understanding. If you do not know who you are, what you want out of life, and what you stand for, who will be able to solve the rubix cube of your mind. You are removing key pieces from the relationship puzzle by not at least having a concept of those three areas. As young adults, we of course still have growing to do and our potential spouses can help with such but they cannot simply be brought in to rescue us. If you are not apart of bettering yourself, who in the long run will want to be?...

Returning to my friend's original concern of "not understanding men", understanding the general population aids in capturing a person's attention, but attention is only maintained through dedication to detail. Once you are with someone or seeking someone, their qualities can be compared to the whole of the gender only to assist them in bettering themselves, but still must be taken into consideration with the individual's background. Expecting too much of a person can create an irreconcilable bond. You can't expect your spouse to have the same amount of money as another individual, because money doesn't last forever. You can't expect a person to shower you with affection like another couple does for one another, because each relationship is different. You can't expect a person to completely change for you, because you won't or shouldn't make those same sacrifices. Realistically, you should seek from a relationship, or on a lower level a friendship, some basic elements: Love, dedication, understanding, some time commitment, and a willing to compromise. Those are key to human interactions fostering positive love and any other elements are simply to appeal to the materialistic standards of society...

Understand that God has a greater plan for everything that you do in life and take each day/opportunity as a chance to advance your personal growth and know that through every dark event is a chance for you to shine again. For it is only in our darkest, that we can truly shine...

God Bless...PromoDave Signing Out...1 Love